Cuz It's You-Tih-Lahh!

Think of Michael Jackson's tune featuring the longest and craziest music video ever made, and couple it with the name of the island I'm currently residing in: Utila. It's easy to see that “Thriller” could be put to some serious Caribbean use if we were to change a few words here and there. We'd have a Utilian anthem I reckon.

Since I've been somewhat absent and lazy in my updates of late, there are a few things that need to be mentioned from the happenings of this lovely July in Honduras. Indeed the best place to start is the flight to San Pedro Sula from Miami, on which I sat next to a Honduran named Luis who was with his mother and daughter. To cut a long story short, Luis offered to put me up in a local hotel and stay the evening with his family in San Pedro before I made for La Ceiba the next day. Such generosity is something I have not been afforded in ten months of travel and I was very grateful for his hospitality and help with my first couple of days in his country - thanks Luis!

My first few days in Utila were spent at the Mango Inn, a lovely resort style setup where I was to settle and make new friends, discuss at length and in depth the shortcomings of the current American government, and eat good pizza. It was time to move on, however, once I had finished my Rescue Diver course and move in with a couple of Canadian guys I met on the ferry over here - Matt and Ryan. You'll be seeing a lot of pictures of them don't you worry.

So it was time to start my Divemaster course at the Utila Dive Centre, but unfortunately a minor diving injury kept me off scuba for about a week and a half, giving me time to complete lovely exams and the like. Matt and Ryan have a friend, Chris, at the Underwater Vision dive shop neighbouring - and rivalling - UDC. Ah, the Utilian dive shop politics..

Most days here are spent diving in the day followed by a visit to the two big pier-style bars here: Coco Loco and Tranquila. We've had some big nights there and they're always worth a look-in on the way home, since Utila is a small and communal island it's often you'll meet some of your mates for a drink, or two. In fact one of Utila's three lies is ‘I'm only having one tonight' - never happens. That's in addition to ‘I'm leaving tomorrow' - it's an easy island to lose yourself in for weeks, months, and sometimes years. And ‘I love you' - of course you do, sunshine. Don't say you weren't warned!

As Peter Kay puts it, there is definitely a new tasty sensation here, called baleadas. Essentially they are made of refried beans, cheese and rings of pickled onion housed neatly in a soft taco. And for 7 lempira (about 22p) you can't go wrong. We have a tally in our house between the boys and I'm currently in the lead with forty three since I've been here. Respect.

We've had a few big events since being here, the first being Utila's Full Moon Party. This was the same day I also decided - with help of friends - to don another Mohawk, which I'm still sporting. The haircut was all the sweeter when I turned up with people not recognising me with my hideous barnet. Needless to say it was a fantastic night and morning with G's top fire shows, a mauling by sandflies and a quick morning swim in the beach to cap it all off.
The ‘Utila Carnaval' kicked off last week, from which time the island comes to life at night with street parties and late night baleada stands. It started with the coronation and selection of Honduran beauties, such as Miss Utila and Miss Honduras 2005 - it was spicy. Although we did find ourselves singing along to Celine Dion; a little unnerving in retrospect.

Alfred, a local instructor at Underwater Vision, had a ‘wrestling party' at his place. With his gigantic speakers and mammoth sound system, he entertained a lot of people who weren't particularly interested - and he's the first to admit it - in WWF or WWE or whatever, with his amazing enthusiasm for the whole spectacle.

So apart from the partying and goings out, the diving is also spectacular and the people at UDC are great. I've been thoroughly enjoying myself over the past three-and-a-bit weeks at the shop and on the boats. I've seen loads of cool fish whose names I can never recall, I've dived wrecks on enriched air, I've mapped dive sites, I've assisted instructors in classes, and carried dozens of sodding oxygen tanks. It's been a good laugh so far and I'm sure my last month in Utila - and my penultimate stop on my year of travelling - will be great while I'm here, savoured as I'm leaving and remembered once I've left.

This is where I reside with Matt and Ryan, a pretty big house in a nice part of town. Can't go wrong really. Well, the Canadians did - this is their fifth house, but they did well with this one.

Utila by day has gorgeous beaches - this is Chepe's, probably second in terms of beauty to Bando. So, yes, it actually gets better than this.

Baleadas are our staple diet here - the boys love 'em. Top right shows we actually call them Baladegas,

My house!

Dive staff Tammy and Jimmy at Underwater Vision. I love your Caribbean accent, Tammy!

'Jungle' James making himself known on camera. This Irish lad has walked the circumference of this island and has crazy dancing - good guy to take out with you in the evening.

The Chestys were out for the full moon party - a good night on Utila's Bando Beach.

Hernan, UDC Instructor. First person I helped out on an Open Water course, and a top guy.

The very local Coco Loco - fantastic bar on an old pier.

C H E S T Y

Here's some art for you kids, check out the dynamics of this amazing shot. As Georgia ponders life toking on a cigarette, Ryan is shuffling madly around in the background. Genius photography.

Chris, the guy responsible for shaving my head into a mohawk. Cheers bro.

The Canadian Boys @ our house. Or hooose, as they would say..

There's Ryan (left) sporting his Kraut Krusher, he loves it.

Instructor at UDC Guillermo and Sylvia give it some on the fire shows at Coco's.

Myself, Nynke, Zoe and - if you look close enough at my eyes - a mask squeeze. Nice.

The lovely Zoe and I at Coco Loco. Let me tell you now it's very rare to get a picture of Zoe not pulling a ridiculous face. Silly girl.

Utila's Mango Inn, a lovely place to chill out. Where I stayed while I was on my Rescue Diver course.

Peru

Since New Zealand it's been a now well-worn routine of putting bags down, hanging around for a while, and then taking around three planes to the next place with all these route and airline restrictions. Leaving Brazil was no exception. Rio - Sao Paulo - Santiago - Lima. Sigh. Does wonders for the frequent flyer miles though.

It wasn't all plain sailing in Peru. After my ride hadn't showed up thirty minutes after we agreed, with grubby and shady looking touts pestering me in ceaseless fashion, I teamed up with two other lost-looking gringos for a taxi ride to 'nearby' Miraflores. Now a journey to the Lima suburb shouldn't take longer then 25 minutes, but of course our taxi driver had no idea where our hostel was. So after a comprehensive tour of Miraflores, asking nearby security guards for what seemed to be conflicting directions from what guard to the next, and about 70 minutes later, we were at the Inka Lodge. And what a lovely hostel it is.

It still wasn't all good though. I must have picked up a bug somewhere along the way but it hit me in Peru, some sort of chest infection and what my father after email consultation loving described as Frank conjunctivitis - the one where you get loads of sleep to keep your eyes shut when you wake up; not very nice. So my first few days were spent 'Peru'sing the streets of Miraflores but since I was feeling 'Peru'ly, not much else. Which was fine, I needed some time off the silly evenings and early afternoon wake-ups.

The pseudoephedrine based drug at the local pharmacist was extortionate for a nasal decongestant, so I settled on the Dad-supplied azithromycin based antibiotic Zithromax and some Framycort eye drops containing nonthing less than Framicetin Sulphate to sort the eye infection out. Just incase you wanted to know. I'm feeling better (thank you for wishing me better subconsciously) still a bit of a cold to kick. Mustn't grumble, mind.

The pictures below will better describe Cuzco and Machu Picchu. What I will say is that Cuzco was much more than I had expected - it is a pretty town-come-city where I spent a full day trying to get a train ticket to Aguas Calientes, finally succeeding. It's also a place where you can eat great food for nothing and go shopping mad.

As for Machu Picchu, well, I had initially felt deflated that I had not enough time for the Inca Trail, and I still do, believe me. Mind you, I would have been in no decent state to tackle the hike, I don't think. But nevertheless, I thought the old Inca City was a work of art and of genius - a true spectacle. New 7 Wonders - www.n7w.com - puts it in their list, I suppose I would too. What I will say is those Incas were pretty fit; walking up and down at altitude sucks. But it was certainly a befitting way to spend one's last days in Peru and I'm certainly looking forward to the scuba diving - the date of going to Honduras on my ticket is actually here! Let's hope I don't get seasick and make a fool of myself all the time.

I spent a few ill days recovering from some weird bug at the Inka Lodge. It's advertised as a hostel but definitely is in the hotel category for decor and cleanliness - puts places like Mellow Yellow to shame (but doesn't have its party atmosphere - can't have it all!) Of course Beth and Ben helped me on leaps and bounds in getting over my poorliness with stories of Fuddruckers owner and friends shooting grouse.

Pictures in to compete with this for the world's biggest McDonalds, please.

Miraflores is an affluent part of Lima, dotted with parks and side streets with upmarket cafes and restaurants.

Lima's coastline has random patches of green, as if it were a culture grown in a petri dish. If the weather weren't so grey it would actually look pretty nice.

Ben, don't fall down the weird spiral staircase cut into the mountainside to serve as the best pedestrian way to get from the beach to the mall at the top!

Ben and Beth thought they were good at Air Hockey. That was of course until I schooled them both. I remember a 7-0 here and there?

This statue is on the coast of Miraflores, Lima. Fondly dubbed 'Kisser's Korner' by Ben, this is what many couples simply do - come here to make out.

Another blue sky day in Cuzco. And you can see I quite appreciated it following the smoggy overcast days over in Lima..

Plaza de Armas, Cuzco. A beautiful spot 3500m above sea level, East of Peru. The main gateway town to Machu Picchu has stunning colonialist architecture influenced by the Spanish when they decided to move in.

Machu Picchu in its entirety, most of the structures in the background repaired from their delapidated state upon discovery by a yank in the 1910s. However some of the buildings in the foreground are originals having withstood the test of time.

Machu Picchu has no less than fourteen separate trails leading to its main gate, pilgrims converging from Bolivia to Brazil. Bit of a trek to see some trapezoids. Although I do like a well-shaved garden.

The grand Inca Empire centre, complete with lovely bus station.

Climbing the nearby Waynapicchu mountain affords the tired tramper (me) fantastic views of Machu Picchu carved into a mountainside and the road the Spanish invaders made on the left. No just kidding, that's the bus route.

With such stepped grounds I reckon the Incas would have been top at making wine.

JZ @ MP 2K5

A lone tree in one of Machu Picchu's well-kept gardens - an Englishman would be proud of it if it were their back lawn.